Tag Archives: writing issues

Thinking about my writing career after my baseball game crashed

Greetings, readers. I awakened this morning at 4:00 as usual to do my morning routine, which consists of making coffee, checking my Facebook account, and updating the day’s goings on with the Steam video game Out of the Park Baseball 18, where I have created my version of the World Baseball League. Well, yesterday as work hours with Rebecca were ending, the computer threw a whole boatload of updates at me and this morning my game file was gone.

I want it made clear right now, I do understand that this baseball league was a game and completely fictitious, but I am still feeling a weird sense of loss because my month and a half of game playing is gone. I came up with my own teams, uniforms, and logos for the caps, and even a few names for some players. I was perfecting my league. I was the league’s commissioner. And now all those hours perfecting the league are gone. I am completely in a funk. Am I going to call my therapist? No. I think I can drag myself out of this on my own.

The one thing this incident does prove is that my creativity and imagination for being a writer must still be there. That is good news because my dream of being a writer has not completely died. Although Bear Spring Camps book 3 is looking less and less likely, either a new book of blog entries or a book of my own short stories might be a plausible option. When I was in my 20s, I wanted to be a writer so bad. I could dream up anything at anytime. Then the seizures hit and as I get older it is becoming increasingly more difficult to create.

Now to update on my feet. As I mentioned before in the blog, I slipped and fell a few weeks ago and am okay except for my feet which I stand on for 5 hours every work shift. Just when I think everything is healing, I come home from work and it feels like there is an elephant sitting on them. This is almost enough to make me want to quit my job. There is only one problem; I like the income too much. It is solving a great number of problems.

Lastly, here is my plan for the rest of the day. I have an appointment this afternoon at 3:00 and dinner with a friend this evening at 7:00. Squished in between that and after dinner, I am going to try to recreate the World Baseball League on the game. Once I delete the whole file, there will be no going back. But it is most doubtful that I can get the old file to run correctly. There went a month and a half. 😦 (Quick question: Does anybody know what a SQUILE file is? That is what the computer says it is missing to run the World Baseball League’s file.) I have to get to sleep no later than 11:00 if I am going to function at all at work tomorrow morning. I do not see myself getting up at 4:00am. I am a tad worried because my body does not do well when I change my daily routine. If I take my pills at a later time, sometimes they don’t work as effectively.

Well, what do you know, a two-day work week, and a happy anniversary to Rebecca on our 7 years of working together. We’ve done short stories, essays, three books, one editing of a play, and now we are working on the novel that Darren adapted from that play. As far as I know, next week will be a two-day work week also. I will need to check my schedule at my fast food job.

So until Wednesday, have a great weekend, take care, and happy reading.

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What an extremely frustrating morning I had

Greetings, readers. I can’t believe this computer is cooperating. I woke up this morning at 8:00 and by noon I had gotten absolutely nothing done. My five-and-a-half year old Asus computer was flipping me off and giving me the f-word. I was not pleased.

I had hoped to check Facebook and Twitter by 9:00 and then spend the rest of the morning writing new pages on my novel. By 11:45, I was so frustrated that I almost opened my window and let the Asus fall to its death. I’m very glad I didn’t, since I wouldn’t be able to type this entry in now.

Some pop-up ads come up last night. One of them had some sexual content on it – I have a feeling that might be the culprit. After work hours are concluded, I’m going to run the virus scanner, the mal-ware scanner, and de-frag the computer. Hopefully this will solve the problems.

I’ve told myself that I want to try to keep this computer running until October. With camp time just around the corner, I really can’t be spending money on both things right now. This Asus will have to do. If it breaks down completely, I think I actually have a typewriter somewhere. Ah, remember the good old days.

On a positive slant for today, the weather is beautiful outside. Sunny, warm, a cool breeze, and moderate humidity. I sure could take more of these. Rebecca tells me that rain is on the way for tomorrow, so I’ll probably be taking my hoodie to gaming day.

Next Friday, I hope to have some kind of post dealing with the 4th of July. I’ve always loved that holiday. And when the fireworks are shot off at the stadium, Keekee and I have a great view from our living room window. I turn off all the lights, open the windows, and Keekee and I watch what I tell her are “the boom booms.” She is fascinated by the many colors.

Hopefully this entry will post without any issues, and it will link properly to Facebook and Twitter. If it doesn’t, we will fix it later. I bid you a super weekend, do take care, and happy reading.

Mud

Greetings, readers. As I’ve mentioned before, there are times in my life when I feel like I’m stuck in the mud. I just can’t get into a complete morning ’til evening routine. It is true that my morning routine is pretty well established, but once noon-time rolls around, all bets are off. I only work with Rebecca Wednesday through Friday. The weekend, Monday and Tuesday are my opportunities to write, clean the apartment, and have some me time. What I must do if I am going to continue to be a writer is take advantage of the early week and actually write.

I’ve sat at the computer before with a word document open, but no great ideas seem to take form. One time I started a short story, and the next day I edited it and realized it was total crap. I’ve been told by Rebecca never to throw any writing away, but sometimes I just cannot help myself. I know it’s garbage because what I read looked and felt forced. When I know that my writing is forced, the only place it can be put is the clunker file.

Another reason I think I’m stuck in the mud happened just last week. Rebecca was reading out loud a story I had dictated a year or two ago and I thought to myself, boy this is pretty good. Then to my shock I realized I can’t write like that anymore. Yes, my medications have been proven to dampen my brain to keep my seizures in check. I’m almost positive that this is what is affecting my creativity. I’ve got a dilemma. Obviously I don’t want seizures, but I don’t want what I call oatmeal brain either.

Between now and early March, when my best friend is coming for a visit, I’m going to tinker around with daily schedules and routines for writing. After his visit, hopefully with that routine in place, I’m going to begin to write with a vengeance. I want to have something to show for the year before camp time rolls around in August.

Lastly, you could say the cold weather is stuck in the mud, too. We’ve been having an arctic blast for a couple of weeks. The strange thing is I’m getting used to it. As long as there is no snow or ice, I suppose I can handle it.

Until Friday, keep warm, good luck with all of your endeavors, and, as always, happy reading.