Tag Archives: identity

The search for my identity

Greetings, readers. As far back as I can remember, I would wonder what it would be like to be somebody else. Many possibilities crossed my mind. One day I wanted to be my father. Another time it would be my friend, Dave, who always had all the answers and was super athletic. Heck, I even wondered what it would be like to be a female version of myself. Perhaps this is normal. Perhaps it isn’t. I found that when I was with other people, I knew my role in the group and I knew better who I was. I think this stems from low self-esteem.

I’ve spoken to my psychologist. Apparently┬áI must work on liking myself more. That’s the key, I guess. I think that’s also why I do not have a girlfriend currently. If you don’t like or love yourself, how can you expect others to like or love you?

I’ve made strides with a lot of my personal demons. My apartment is cleaner, trash goes out and dishes get done. The biggest successes I’ve had are a big improvement on my hoarding issue and being able to get onto a sleep schedule which is much healthier for me.

Now, an embarrassing tidbit. When I was nine or so, I carried a brown folder to school. It contained all my homework and such. A joke I made, which didn’t go down very well, was that I was Jim Rockford and my folder was the Rockford files. Luckily only a small group of people got wind of that one. I look back now and think oh my God, how dumb was that?

With help now, I shall continue working on my strengths and kick my weakness in the butt. Time will tell if I truly find myself and become comfortable with the man that I have become.

Until Friday, take care, enjoy your day and happy reading.