Tag Archives: college

I need to define my life

Greetings, readers. What does that mean; define my life? It means that right now I feel like I am spinning my wheels in thick mud. I am going from day to day doing all of the necessary tasks just to get by. I can’t tell you how long it’s been since I sat down at the computer and wrote a story for three or four hours. This blog entry might sound like a broken record in places, and I will apologize in advance. However, there are some things on my mind today that I need to purge. So, here goes.

When I was much younger, I thought that I would graduate from college, marry a college sweetheart, be father of two or three children, and own a house with a white picket fence and a nice SUV. Ha-ha-ha. Like, that happened… not. I can see my family now. I would marry an attractive, intelligent woman, who is just as old-fashioned as I am. We would raise our two children, hopefully a boy and a girl, teaching them morals and values which would make them loving, caring and productive members of society.

Back to defining my life. On July 13th, I’m going to be 54 years old. I have held two jobs, each one lasting only one year. Yes, I do have my published books, and that’s good. I need more. Somehow, I have to break this mold, go out into the world, and make my mark. There are plenty of places in town which are hiring right now for summer and fall. I’m going to try to line up a job which I will begin after I get back from Maine in August. I also need to become more social. I am not saying that I’m going to hang out at bars. I have recently joined the local Presbyterian Church, which offers many opportunities to get closer to the Lord, and also to socialize and meet people. Of course, I did not join the church to find my next girlfriend. That would be crazy. Am I one of those souls who are destined to go through life alone? Well, I’ve got news for you. Through my friend Dave and his family, I have enjoyed being Uncle Joe to all the nieces and nephews, and now to their children as well. I have been quite blessed. Perhaps… just perhaps, God gave me that family to go through life with. I have been honored.

I don’t think anyone’s life turns out to be exactly what they hoped it would be. We all just have to do the best we can with what we’ve been given. I have numerous health issues, but I firmly believe that the Lord does not give me anything I can’t handle. It’s tough sometimes, but with a good therapist, wonderful friends, and a fantastic personal assistant in Rebecca, everything I need to get done gets done.

Lastly, of course I have my kitty cat, Princess Josie. I will be posting a photo of her here on the blog site ASAP. So, keep a lookout for that. Until Wednesday, I bid you a wonderful Sunday, have a great start to your work week, and as always, happy reading.

To learn or not to learn

Greetings, readers. After many weeks of contemplating whether or not to go back and finish college, I am now leaning towards not. At least not full-time. I know this decision follows my pattern of never finishing anything. But after discussing the topic with my accountant today, we came to the realization that we would probably not make up the $80,000 or $90,000 that it would cost, in the ten years that I would have left to work. Yes, folks, I would be 55 or so by the time I was done. I was all gung-ho for this project a couple of weeks ago, and now once again I am depressed.

An alternative would be to go part-time, taking one or two classes per semester. That would drag it out even longer, but it would be easier on me and with the money. I have three possible majors in mind: Marketing to help me sell the books I already have; Writing to help me write more books; or Psychology in honor of my mother who was a psychologist. The first step will be to see what semester I take the first class in, in August or perhaps in January. The later semester start would give me time to get back from camp, possibly get that job at Panera, and settle in to the new year’s routine. Maybe the job will be enough to make me feel like I am a contributor in life.

Did I really want to finish college? It would have done wonders for my self-esteem and it might have opened up a career or two. Certainly it would have helped me with my writing. I’ve not ruled it in, but I’ve not ruled it out. At age 51, with a brain that sometimes acts like it is in oatmeal, I guess the question is, could I do it? Could I succeed? I guess I wouldn’t know unless I tried, would I? Those who don’t try, don’t get anything in life. Those who do try, sometimes fail, but are usually rewarded.

Besides being a bit bummed out about the whole college idea, I am currently suffering from mild caffeine withdrawals (pardon my yawn). I have had only decaf today and I missed my time at Panera. I’m sure I’ll go over this afternoon, but because of doctor’s orders I am drinking less caffeine and more water. I’m not exactly a happy camper. Not to jinx myself, but at least I don’t have a splitting headache. Though, I do admit that the experiment is working and the physical issues I was having are dramatically reduced.

For those of you who might be interested, my YouTube vlog is up and running. It is called the Joe Kockelmans Show and the only problem about it is that if I sing with music behind me, the video is blocked in 9/10ths of the world. My point on that is this: yes, I understand about copyright law, but I am not trying to sell it, and I am definitely not the Beatles or KISS. No one will confuse me for those bands or any others that I sing with. There must be some way around that snafu. Time will tell.

Until Friday, take care, have a great couple of days, and happy reading.

Top ten list of things I loved about my college years

Greetings, readers. Recent reflection, walking around the State College area, allowed me the opportunity to reflect back on my college days. I went to Pennsylvania State University after graduating from Mt. Aloysius Junior College. Many happy memories came from those years.

#10. The freedom I felt at leaving home for the first time. [I think most late teenagers experience this.]

#9. The college romance. [I almost asked my junior college girlfriend to marry me.]

#8. The learning experiences. [Learning, yes; test taking, no.]

#7. The socializing. [The dances, the socials, and those crowded cafeteria times.]

#6. From my Penn State days, the small bowling alley they used to have. [At one time I was actually a pretty good bowler; had a 144 average.]

#5. From my junior college days, the game room. [I spent many hours there shooting billiards and listening to the pop music on the juke box. Sometimes Paula and I would grab a mid-evening burger and shake.]

#4. Penn State football weekends. [Sometimes the evening noise level does get to me, I’ll admit, but there is nothing like the collegiate football atmosphere on a Saturday afternoon.]

#3. At Pattee Library at Penn State, they had a music listening room. [I spent many happy hours listening to classical CDs, both from the library and the music I brought in.]

#2. The occasional walk around the Penn State campus on a sunny warm day.

#1.Graduation.

That’s my top ten list of college memories. Please feel free to chime in with your own and leave them in the comment section.

Until next time, have a great weekend, enjoy summer, and happy reading.