Does too nice = stupid?

Hi, all. Recently I’ve been pondering this question. At least four times in my life I have been called, “too nice.” At first I thought to myself, in today’s world of war and strife, how can someone be too nice? Well, after many girlfriend break-ups and other personal problems, I have come to realise that too nice, perhaps, might be another phrase for stupid.

So I began to think about this long and hard. I am of at least average intelligence, and can conduct myself in a grown-up manner more times than not. Every so often, however, I will overextend myself and Mr. Too Nice will show himself. Usually with disastrous consequences.

For privacy reasons, I shall try to keep to generalities. I have a tendency to give people money, even in times when I really can’t afford to, I have offered people early morning rides when I knew I was too tired to do so, and it just seems that anytime someone says, “could you help,” that the word no is not in my vocabulary.

Most of my examples stem from my girlfriend woes. I was always more than generous with girlfriends, from my high school sweetheart right up to my current girlfriend. I just can’t say no. Perhaps I have a fear of rejection.

Also, as a young child, I didn’t have very many friends. I was shy and awkward and, just like Hermey the Dentist from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, I just wanted to fit in. That is probably where my too niceness stems from and has now grown like a weed.

If I had gone the Mr. Scrooge route, I am certain I would have ended up either friendless, or having friends that weren’t good for me. Plus, I would just feel like a nasty person all the time, and that is not how I want to feel. Moreover, that’s not how I was raised. My whole family gave of themselves. That’s just what we did.

In the final analysis, I feel that it is better for me to have that extra nice quality. Stupid is probably not the right word. It’s actually more like gullible. That is something I am going to have to work on. There must be a way for me to retain my sweet personality, yet not have Mr. Gullible or Sucker stamped on my forehead.

Take care and until next time …

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