Life doesn’t have a reset button

How many of us have ever wished that there was a reset button in life? Obviously there isn’t. What I am about to share with you is something very personal that happened in 2006. My divorce became final after a very short marriage. Though I was with the woman I loved for a year and a half, the marriage only lasted eleven months. Pity, I didn’t even get to celebrate an anniversary. I’ve actually pounded my head against a wall a couple of times, going over events that lead up to 2005 and right through when the final divorce papers were delivered in my mailbox.

If I had a reset button, it would have been worn out by now. I would have constantly tried to change my life, undoing the mistakes that I made. Did I love my wife? Of course, that’s why I married her. Did she love me? I think so. But we had problems and it just didn’t work out. Some of my friends tell me that if I had a reset button I should have pressed it when she first arrived.

I was born with parents and grandparents who worked very hard their whole lives and were lucky enough to make the right choices at the right times to become financially stable. Not that I would have used that money as a crutch, but what money was left to me is now gone, due to bad choices I made. Some friends of mine have said that, “She stole from you.” I say, unequivocally, “No. We spent the money together, trying to get a business going.” Here is where I would have hit the reset button the second time. No business venture!

The more I think about it, I actually could have hit my reset button in junior college with my girlfriend at the time. I was shy and awkward and one terrible evening I got scared of the whole situation and suggested that we break up. I shall never forget the hurt look on her face. I had completely misread her thoughts and feelings. Apparently, she loved me and was just as scared and shy as I was. My attempt at reconciliation failed.

People say that hindsight is 20/20. If at ten years old, I had decided that every time I get a quarter in my change I’d save it, and I did, imagine how rich I would be now. I’m going to be 47 this July. That would have been 37 years’ worth of quarters. Do the math.

Well, readers, obviously there is no reset button in life. There is only something called good judgment. That is something I have lacked for many, many years. I keep telling myself every New Year’s Eve, that I shall make my resolution to be more frugal and less “too nice.” In other words, stop being a sucker. But that resolution lasts about three days. The only thing I can do is to try to better myself each day and make fewer mistakes as I go through my life. I guess that is what they mean by people get wiser with age.

A brief word about what’s coming next. I plan on sharing some updates about my writing as to how camp book 2 is coming along. Also, if Keekee does anything spectacular, you’ll be the first to know. Until next week, take care.

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