I’m into yoga and meditation now

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Greetings, readers. Since my message therapist, Alan, retired a few years back, I have had to find ways to keep myself feeling healthy and energized. Alan did chakra and energy work on me and it was truly a wonderful experience. He was able to open everything up and allow my natural body energy to flow. It has been forever since I’ve done chakra work and I need it badly.

Thanks to several channels on YouTube, there are numerous relaxation and yoga videos on offer. Ninety-nine percent of them are free and range from 20 minutes to 10 hours. One night I feel asleep to soft deep relaxation music especially created to help people sleep better. It worked for me, I was visiting the sandman within minutes.

I’m thinking of actually taking a yoga class, but they are probably $60 an hour, which is not in my budget. So for now I am going to have to keep myself healthy by eating better and watching these wonderful videos to help me relax, focus, and keep my chakras open the way they should be.

When I was younger, I did not believe in any of the Eastern medicine practices. Today, they are intriguing and enlightening. I believe in them very much. I had a friend tell me once that they are hypnosis; that is incorrect. It is true that they are for deep meditation, but it comes from the inside instead of the outside.

I have tried hypnosis videos and, at least on me, they don’t work. One that I viewed told me that I wasn’t going to be able to move. After watching the twirling spiral for 15 minutes, I stood right up. Another said I was going to bark like a dog; no such happenings. Those videos are just for fun. The yoga, relaxation and meditation videos do have merit and worth for well-being.

With all of my medications for my health issues, I’m constantly seeking ways to feel better. Is my diet the best that it could be? No, but I am working on that. Am I going to do three hours of deep meditation every morning? Doubtful. For now I think I will use it when I need it. But if I notice a marked improvement in health, I shall increase the number of times a week I participate with meditation.

On a side note, for any of my friends who read my blog who are Bear Spring Campers and did not hear the news, long time head cook Mr. Pearl passed away a day or two ago. So sad. Rest in Peace my friend.

Next week I’m anticipating a regular work week. I’m going with Traci to her doctor on Monday and there will be work days on Wednesday and Thursday. Until next week, I bid you a happy weekend, do take care, and as always happy reading.

My Summer Car help request and other topics

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Greetings, readers. I know I just blogged about My Summer Car not too long ago, but it continues to bother me. In the latest update, the creator of the game added a wonderful moped (to me it looks like a dirt bike) and it is the only vehicle that I can drive with my frame-rate problem. Yes, that is my issue. Even on the crappiest settings, my frame-rates are horrendous. The van barely moves, as well as the diesel truck, and the boat won’t start, so I am forced to use the moped to get to town. That in itself was fun, I was finally able to buy things at the store, however I have no vehicle to get the items back home, as there is no basket on the moped.

I created a YouTube video approximately 5 minutes in length describing my woes of playing My Summer Car. If anybody can give me some tips or pointers on how to make the game run better, or any game with frame-rate problems, please leave your suggestions in the comment area either here or on my Facebook page. I would greatly appreciate any help.

Okay, on to other news. I found out that my idea for my new writing project cannot be done. Not only are the folks I was going to write it for basically finished with their productions, but the list of restrictions from the Star Trek world governed by CBS and Paramount are so ridiculously stupid that I can’t even work with them. For instance, your project can only by 15 minutes long or 2 parts for a total of 30 minutes. It has to be family friendly, so there goes any fight scenes or phaser battles, and I wouldn’t even be able to show them having a drink. Lord forbid little Johnny or Susie see the characters drinking Romulan ale. The whole thing is so frustrating.

I actually had a good idea with a strong story and subplot. I was excited about the project, and then just for giggles I wanted to see what the guidelines actually were. My excitement faded away quickly. I think I’m still going to do the project just for the writing experience. It would definitely get those writing muscles working again and boost my creativity. Will the story be able to be produced by anybody? I doubt it. Oh well, so it goes.

Okay, I’m done ranting and raving. I do have one other thing I want to share with you. Last week I had a comment in the spam filter that I deleted, but the question was close enough to a real one that I thought I’d answer it, in case I was wrong about it being from a spam bot. It asked about how I do the coding for this blog, and do I use html code. WordPress is a great host that does the work for me, even though I am using their free version. I log into my account, see a dashboard with different categories, click Add New Post, and I have a window to type the blog entry into, with easy to use features to put in a category and tags. When I am ready, I click Publish, and WordPress puts it live on my page. I would recommend WordPress.com to anyone who wants to do a blog, even if they are not tech savvy.

There’s my blog entry for today. Again, please if you would, watch that YouTube video and give me any help you can.

Until tomorrow, have a great day, take care, and happy reading.

Top ten list of favorite Star Wars characters

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Greetings, readers. Rebecca had a good idea for the top ten list and I decided to go with it. The characters on the list were from any of the films thus far: Star Wars: A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith, and The Force Awakens. As it so happens, I did not pick any characters from Rogue One. This list is in no particular order, as with most of my top ten lists. At the bottom, Rebecca put in her list and the list from her husband Darren. There is a lot of overlap, but there are a few differences too. I think you will find it interesting.  So here we go.

#10. Rey. [From Star Wars: The Force Awakens, she is an orphan, her parents were taken away, leaving her on the planet Jakku to fend for herself as a scavenger. While living on the planet, she stumbles across the droid BB-8 and Finn, a storm trooper who turns good, and her adventure begins. I put her on my list because she is a well-developed character, who is brilliant and a strong female lead.]

#9. R2D2/C-3PO. [The droids from the original films are two classic Star Wars characters who everyone knows. Anthony Daniels plays the somewhat winey C-3PO and does a marvelous job. Though he sometimes gets in the way, he always seems to have the answer when it is so desperately needed. 3-PO, as he is referred to, interprets the beeps and whistles of his young counterpart R2D2.]

#8. Lando Calrissian. [Played by famous actor Billy Dee Williams, this character first appears in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. He is caught between helping Han Solo and company and protecting his mining operation and city from the dreaded Empire.]

#7. Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi. [Luke Skywalker’s trusted friend and eventual master, he sacrifices himself midway through Star Wars: A New Hope to become stronger with the Force, in order to help Luke destroy the dreaded Death Star. This character is played by the famous actor Sir Alec Guinness.]

#6. Leia Organa. [Played by the late Carrie Fisher, she was the heroine in the original movie set. The princess of Alderaan, Leia had to be rescued by Luke and Han in Star Wars: A New Hope, before fighting valiantly on Endor alongside Luke and Han as they tried to blow up the second Death Star. She will make her last appearance in Star Wars: The Last Jedi, as she completed her filming before she passed away.]

#5. Grand Moff Tarkin. [Played by Peter Cushing, a wonderful English actor, he “held Darth Vader’s leash” as stated by Princess Leia. Working closely with Darth Vader, his plan was to rule the universe with the threat of complete planetary destruction by using the Death Star in the original films. Thanks to Luke Skywalker, he was not successful. Though he was a bad guy, I always liked this one; I think it was the actor’s performance that hooked me.]

#4. Darth Vader. [Darth Vader, AKA Anakin Skywalker, was the morphed machine produced by the evil Emperor after a brainwashed Anakin Skywalker was nearly burned to death.]

#3. Yoda. [Brought to life by the late Jim Henson, Yoda was the Jedi master who trained Luke Skywalker on the planet Dagobah. He taught the ways of the Force, and quite truthfully is one of my favorite characters of all time. In the prequels done later, we can also see that Yoda can wield a mean light saber and is quite proficient.]

#2. Luke Skywalker. [The bored-to-tears teenager who lived on Tatooine was the nephew of a farmer and his wife. His big dream was to go to the academy and train to be a Jedi like his father. Little did he know who his father was. SPOILER ALERT: We have hints that Luke Skywalker is turning toward the dark side as early as Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back with the black glove covering his mechanical replacement hand. There is also talk in this upcoming movie that Luke may be turning toward the dark side. Dressed in a grey cloak in the trailers, we’re not certain if Luke is struggling with inner turmoil as he fights to stay on the good side of the Force.]

#1. Han Solo. [The old space pirate, as stated by Lando, Han Solo, with his ship the Millennium Falcon and co-pilot Chewbacca, fly across the galaxy, delivering cargo as they can. He has been known to cheat some people, so his reputation is tarnished. Yet in the end, he becomes a hero in not only the original films, but in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. SPOILER ALERT: His death scene caused a few tears in the theatre when I watched it.]

Honorable Mentions: Finn and BB-8 were heroes from Star Wars: The Force Awakens. In a new plot twist which I loved, Finn, an Imperial Stormtrooper who just didn’t want to kill any more, turns good and helps Rey and BB-8 get where they are going, with the help of Hans Solo.

The Millennium Falcon is not a living character, but to me it has certain characteristics all its own, and as soon as you see this ship you know you are watching a Star Wars film. I equate it to the Starship Enterprise in Star Trek.

For those of you who wonder why I did not add Chewbacca, Boba Fett, or any of the other classic characters, we could only have ten. In the future I might do a part two on this topic, time will tell. Please chime in with your Star Wars characters, either here or on my Facebook page. Here are Rebecca and Darren’s picks.

Rebecca’s top ten, which is pretty much all good guys: #10. Finn. #9. Poe Damero. [A pilot from Star Wars: The Force Awakens.] #8. Rey. #7. R2D2/C-3PO. #6. Chewbacca. #5. Yoda. #4. Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi. #3. Luke Skywalker. #2. Han Solo. #1. Leia Organa.

Darren’s top ten, which leans heavy toward the bad guys he loves so much: #10. Leia Organa. #9. Chewbacca. #8. Luke Skywalker. #7. Lando Calrissian. #6. Kylo Ren [The bad guy from Star Wars: The Force Awakens.] #5. Yoda. #4. Han Solo. #3. Boba Fett. [A bounty hunter in the original series.] #2. Darth Maul. [One of the bad guys from the prequels.] #1. Darth Vader.

I bid you a wonderful weekend, I’m going to work on my health issues to find out why I’m so tired all the time, so that I can hopefully become more productive. Writing blog entries is fun, I enjoy it, but I want to continue my novel or begin a television episode script. Remember, writers write.

Until next Wednesday, have a wonderful several days, take care, and happy reading.

Star Trek Continues … continues

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Greetings, readers. On Twitter, I follow one of the cast members of a wonderful Star Trek fan produced series. She is Michele Specht, who plays Counselor Elise McKennah on Star Trek Continues, which also stars Vic Mignogna as Capt. James Kirk. I wrote about the series in a previous post. I tweeted to my acquaintance, Michele Specht, and she informed me that there will be three more episodes produced this coming year. I am super excited.

I truly thought Star Trek Continues was over after just eight episodes. CBS, which has a brand new Star Trek series on the way, and the parent company Paramount decided that they were going to block everyone’s creativity by exercising the copyright infringement law. I shall try to keep my cool as I dictate this, so here goes.

I can understand if the new Star Trek series would not want fans producing material with the brand new characters. But in my humble opinion, any fan film which portrays the earlier characters, such as Kirk and Spook, are simply paying homage to a wonderful series and franchise. To my knowledge they are not making any money or profit from it, so who are they hurting?

There are three wonderful series’ that I watch on YouTube; Star Trek Continues, Star Trek Phase II, and Starship Farragut. Me being a struggling writer, I would love to write an episode for any of these series’. But how do we convince CBS and Paramount to ease the restrictions? I don’t know that we can.

A couple of the guidelines that I read about are that any future fan fic film of Star Trek can only be 15 minutes in length or shorter and can use no previously created character. No Kirk, no Spock, no beam me up Scotty; what’s the point?

I have already made contact with Michele Speck with a question about writing a script for Star Trek Continues. I don’t know if any other episodes are planned after the aforementioned three, but hope springs eternal. I’ve always been a sci-fi nut, and a Star Trek fan in general, and this topic, if anything, can yank me out of my writing rut at warp speed. So wish me luck; in six months to a year from now you just might see my name on one of those series’.

Rebecca and I will be working tomorrow and I will have a top ten list for you on a topic yet to be determined. Until then, I bid you a good day, take care, and as always happy reading.

From Rebecca: Family stuff

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Those of you who have read Joe’s blog for a long time will know that he has written many times about his struggle to hold on to items he inherited from his parents, even when he didn’t have the space in his apartment to keep all of them. He had to let a few things go in periodic clean outs, and it was difficult for him each time. This is on my mind today, because my family is struggling with a similar issue of losing family stuff, and it is a heartbreaker. We thought some items were safe at a family member’s house and it turns out that they were not.

The items are from my mother, who passed away, and my stepfather, who is still alive but has a lot of health issues. One item in particular was a stuffed leopard that my sisters and I had as children, that our mom kept and then it went with our stepfather when he moved after she passed. After one of my sisters asked about it this week, another sister found out that at some point it was thrown out after something got spilled on it. The other stuff was important too, but this is the item I really cared about and it is gone. I really wish that we had taken it the last time we were all there together a few years ago, but it didn’t seem polite at the time. I ached about the loss for a few minutes, and then thought, okay, there is nothing we can do about it now.

An added complication is that, due to certain circumstances, when our stepfather does pass away, all of his stuff might be lost, and there might not be any items from him that we inherit to remember him by. Does this possible loss matter? Just how much do we need family heirlooms as reminders after loved ones are gone?

I do cherish the items I have from people who are no longer with me. It is nice to look up on my bookcase and see a scarf from one of my grandmothers, the statue that reminds me of my other grandmother, my copy of the spiritual book that my mother gave to each of her daughters while she was still alive. These items sit among the ones I have from people who are still with me, like the pictures of my nephews and niece growing up, the candle my mother-in-law gave me, and something from a dear friend who is like a sister to me. I like the memories and the reminders of my loved ones. My life is richer because of all the people in it. But I also know that I don’t lose that if I lose the mementos.

If I don’t end up with my stepfather’s pocket knife, I still remember him using it. I still remember him cooking meals and joking with my mom in their kitchen filled with knickknacks, cutting the lawn on his sitting mower, pointing to his picture of a ship he crewed on and telling me about his experiences on it, sitting at his computer, fixing the latest of his parade of vehicles, and trying to figure out his latest electronic gizmo. My stepfather was a force of nature once upon a time.

I don’t think of my stepfather like that much anymore, and maybe I do need reminders. Maybe other family members will have to do that for me instead of his stuff. And that is okay. And maybe I will end up with an item of his to spark my memories. That would be good too.

Joe will be back with a blog entry next Wednesday. Until then, take care, have a great week, and happy reading.

I think spring has finally sprung

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Greetings, readers. I actually have my window open today and was running the air conditioner earlier. These are two classic signs that spring is here. I live on the top floor of my apartment building and have a great view. It is so nice to see the trees blooming again, for one of my favorite colors is green. I love green grass and bushes and of course the tall trees. The only bad thing about being a spring and summer person are that my allergies kick up from time to time.

Yesterday we hit 81 degrees F, which was only two degrees off the all time record. Okay, maybe we went from late winter right into summer. But that won’t last, the temperature is supposed to drop into the 60s tomorrow. I can handle the cool and the rain, for I know it is just a short matter of time before warm days are here to stay until October.

A quick update about my fiancé Traci. She is in the hospital right now, so your good thoughts and prayers would certainly be appreciated. I feel confident that the doctors can solve the issue within a couple of days, and that she will be home again as soon as possible. I have been up to visit every day since she went in, and will be up there again today and tomorrow. It’s just not the same around the apartment building without her. One of my favorite times of the day is to visit at her place and listen to relaxing music. We’ll get back to that soon enough.

When Traci gets home and gets her strength back, I intend for us take nice walks together, and neither of us likes to walk in cold weather. We are also big fans of having days with more hours of daylight.

To finish up this blog entry, I’ve been fighting with the game My Summer Car and have concluded that my laptop simply can’t run it. What a shame. To buy a new laptop for one game would be absurd. I promised myself, my accountant, and Rebecca that we would use the current laptop until it died. I guess my gaming experience with My Summer Car will have to wait.

I’ll be visited Traci in the hospital tomorrow, so Rebecca will write the Thursday blog entry, and then I will edit and post it when I have a chance. I’m not sure what time that will be, but it will be tomorrow. Rebecca doesn’t know the topic yet, but I have faith in her.

Until tomorrow, take care, have a great day, and happy reading.

You can’t go home again

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Greetings, readers. I’m in one of my nostalgic moods today and I’ve been thinking of my parents and the house I grew up in. I still remember every inch of the old place. If I close my eyes, I can walk through every room, nook and pantry. I’ve been in the house since it was sold – I know the new owners – and they completely redid the inside. Why not, it’s their home now. It looked so different, though.

I am reminiscing about my childhood and all the wonderful times we had at home. Between holiday gatherings and the normal school year goings on, there always seemed to be something happening. One weekend it might be a game of Wiffle ball in the circle – what my neighborhood called the area outside my house, another weekend it might be watching a Pittsburgh Steelers playoff game with my friends.

I’ve often wanted to go back to those days, but it is impossible. Life marches forwards, not backwards. One of my issues is that I have always wanted to be different; either better than I was or, worse, somebody else. That stems from my poor self-esteem. What to do?

Other people have traits I wish were mine. Because I tend to forget things, I desire to be more like my mom. She was the most organized, clear-headed person I ever knew. Mom always had every base covered. Sometimes I wanted to have Pop’s work ethic. Heck, I would have twenty books written if I did. Then there is my best friend, Dave. He is the king of planning. I’ve always admired how he’d tell me every step of what needed done, and with such encouragement. You see where I’m going with this? I want to be everybody but… me!

I’ve learned recently from friends, family and inspirational quotes that all I need to do is be the best me I can be. I can do that. 🙂 Let’s all do that.

Until next week, have a great weekend, take care and happy reading.

Review of My Summer Car

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Greetings, readers. For the past week and a half or so I have been fighting with my laptop to try to play a game on Steam called My Summer Car. This game was produced by one person in Finland, Johannes Rojola, and the graphics are awesome. The language is Finnish with English subtitles. It is set in 1995 and the cars are from that era. I’ve seen numerous YouTube videos dealing with this game and they are loads of fun to watch. However my five and half-year old Asus laptop just won’t play the game correctly. I can play the game but the mechanics of my laptop won’t let me do it correctly. I believe I’m having frame rate issues. The game just won’t run smoothly at all. I’ve tried changing the settings on the options menu to the worst possible graphics and screen size. That helps ever so slightly, but still not enough to really play the game. If anybody can tell me how to solve my graphics problem, it would be greatly appreciated. Leave me a comment here or on Facebook.

Here’s how the game is supposed to go. Your parents are away for the summer and you have the house to yourself. You have a shell of a car, basically the chassis, with all the parts in your garage. You have to assemble them one by one, including tightening all the nuts and bolts. All the while, birds, mosquitoes and pesky phone calls do their best to distract you. The most annoying creature in the game is the overnight cuckoo bird which never stops. If one or two bolts are not tightened completely, they will shake out and your car will die.

You have five meters on the top left of your computer screen which are urine (yes, you have to go to the bathroom in this game), thirst, hunger, fatigue, and dirtiness. You can die of fatigue, hunger and thirst, but not dirtiness. You always have to keep track of these meters, and eat and drink beer, water, or milk to keep the meters low. You have a sauna for cleaning, which is really cool, and a bed to sleep in for fatigue. When you are good and refreshed you can hop in the van, drive to town, and purchase items such as beer, pizza, sausage, milk, and the much needed mosquito spray. Later on, when your car is almost ready, you can purchase motor oil, coolant, and other such things at the same store.

Now, for the funny parts. One of the two main sources of income are that you are the septic man. You take a phone call saying that some neighbor’s septic tank is full, you drive the septic truck to that place and empty the tank. I believe you get 2,000 Polish marks. You can also chop wood at the barn and use your tractor to deliver it to whoever calls and requests it. Each job gives you a varying amount of money to buy your food, drink, and other supplies. This leaves you very little time to work on your car, which is the main goal of the game. On the weekend, when your car is finished and rally ready, you can race if you want to, or on Saturday evening you can go to the pub next to the store and get drunk on beer or vodka and eat polish sausage. Again, let me remind you that one person made this game; it is incredibly detailed.

My favorite aspect to this game is the boat you can take around the lake, and the island which was added in an update. You can visit the island with its small working cottage, and also you can dock at the town to buy groceries. It reminds me very much of rides in my boat around Bear Spring Camps. I don’t know where this gentleman got the sound-bite for the boat engine but it is spot on. Bravo.

To give this game a final score, I’ll have to rely on the YouTube videos I’ve watched of my friend Squirrel playing. Paul seems to be an expert at this game. Here are my final ratings:

Graphics: 8 out of 10

Modern game look: … okay, but it is set in 1995 and the game interaction is very retro, for example – the shopkeeper has hardly any facial movement when speaking. We’ll call it 6 out of 10

Things to do in the game: … I could literally spend all day playing this game. 10 out of 10

Total average score: a good solid 8.

For anyone who plays games on Steam, I highly recommend this one. Ready, set, go have fun.

Until next time, take care, enjoy the warmer weather, and happy reading.

Top ten list of things I’ll love about being married again

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Greetings, readers. In June of 2018, I plan on tying the knot for the second time. My fiancé Traci and I are enjoying being engaged and our relationship is progressing nicely. There are a few bumps in the road as with any couple, but I feel we can work those out well before the big day. Here’s a top ten list of things I’ll love about being married again, in no particular order.

#10. Making decisions about vacations together. [Both of us hope to, at some point, take a cruise together. There are websites where good deals are on offer. A nice five to seven-day cruise to the Bahamas and back would be a lovely introduction for Traci to be on a cruise ship. I’ve been on them twice.]

#9. Companionship on a full-time basis. [I am so used to being able to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it. As much as I enjoy this, there is a nice feeling of going to bed together, seeing each other the first and the last thing of each day, taking long walks, and enjoying stimulating conversation.]

#8. Partner for the tough times. [Undoubtedly, there will be tough times now and then where one of us will have to rely on the other. And also to discuss what is bothering the person and allowing the other to help. We can’t be so proud that we can think we can solve our problems by ourselves. In fact, having a partner means that we are not alone when facing life’s challenges.]

#7. Inspiring each other. [We have already begun to do this, even before the wedding. Both Traci and I have personal issues to overcome. We both egg each other on and are there for support of the other when times get tough or we have a setback. We have each other’s back.]

#6. Holiday visits with family. [For the last several years, I have celebrated holidays either by myself or have taken a trip to New Jersey to be with David’s family. Now we have the opportunity to spend time with Traci’s family and friends, as well as my buddy and brother’s family. This also affords the chance, if the opportunity arises, to have both families present on occasion, i.e. the wedding and reception.]

#5. Making up after a fight. [Neither of us like to fight, but it is inevitable that in close quarters we will disagree on something from time to time. I expect all of our fights to be verbal since I was raised to not put an unloving hand on a woman. I expect after all is said and done and the anger vented, we will come to a solution to our issue and make up. That is the part I will look forward to in this situation. Will I pick a fight just to make up? No. Although I’ve heard some people do.]

#4. Growth of relationship in close quarters. [At present, Traci and I only see one another when we eat out, run errands, or when we visit each other at her apartment or mine for coffee. When we are married, we will live under one roof and we will have to learn to accept each other’s quarks and habits. It shouldn’t be too difficult to do if we keep the lines of communications open and share our feelings.]

#3. Intimacy. [I shall admit to you, my readers, I was never one of those teenagers who had sex in high school. I was shy and awkward and so sex and intimacy came much later in my life. I’ve been divorced now for over ten years and have not had a serious girlfriend before Traci. So I am looking forward to making strides in our intimacy.]

#2. Sharing life stories and memories. [I know I have a gazillion stories from my childhood, and years with Dave, that can make Traci laugh and lift her spirits. People say laughter is the best medicine. She can also make me laugh, she has a good sense of humor. I’ll admit sometimes I can’t tell when she is kidding. LOL.]

#1. The wedding reception. [Every now and then, both families will be under one roof for a social occasion. The first one will be our wedding reception. We will be sending out the save-the-date magnets for people’s refrigerators approximately six months prior the wedding. With the reception that evening, both families will mingle. I see everyone getting along splendidly. Dave’s whole family adores Traci, and Traci’s sister Roni always gives me a big hug too when Traci and I are leaving our coffee outings.]

There is my top ten list of things I’ll love about being married. If anyone would like to add some that they experienced, please leave a comment here or on my Facebook page.

Next week, Rebecca will be here on Wednesday and my schedule for Thursday is still up in the air. If we don’t work that day, one of us will put the Thursday blog up so there will be two next week.

Until then, have a super-duper weekend, take care, and happy reading.

Learning to cope with my clinical depression

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Greetings, readers. It is a mostly sunny day here in Central Pennsylvania and that is helping my overall mood. I must admit though that over the weekend I was in a funk. I’m big on re-examining my life, wondering what changes I could have made so that things would have turned out better. I’ve got to stop doing this. I told Rebecca this morning I feel like I am not living, I’m simply existing.

Do I laugh when I am with people? Of course. I go out to my appointments, visit Traci, and do all the things I need to do during the day. In other words, I can function. The evening and night-time though are a different story. When it gets dark outside, so does my mood.

I was watching YouTube videos of a most sad topic and as I have done in the past, I kept clicking next video. I was doing research for a possible blog post on the 9/11 attacks and the subsequent conspiracy theories by watching a couple of movies and the footage from CNN from the day of the attack. By the time midnight rolled around, I knew I had to get to sleep, but I didn’t want to. I turned out all the lights and just laid there with my eyes open. I didn’t want to dream, I didn’t want to sleep, I just kept thinking about all those people in those towers whose lives were snuffed out for no good reason at all.

On Monday, I did lots of flight simulation, looking at the clear blue sky at 39,000 feet. After that, I finished off the first reading of Darren’s novel. In a few days I will start my fine-tooth comb reading of it, and then we will turn it over to Rebecca for one final check over. When that is done, Four’s a Crowd will be complete. Thumbs up.

I guess what I am really trying to say in this blog entry is that I need to begin to live, and not just exist. As my regular readers know, I love to go back and reminisce about when life was good. I’ve got news for you folks. Any day you wake up alive is a good day. If you don’t believe me, try waking up dead. I have a couple of ideas I am going to try out to help me, one of which is chakra energy work or yoga, and the other is inspirational books or audio tapes.

My kitty cat is nuzzling me right now, saying it’s time for dinner, so I think I will conclude this entry here, and let you know we will have another one for you tomorrow, most likely a top ten list.

So until then, take care, have a great day, and happy reading.